What I would love right now is just to tell the world at large to get fucked. A couple of people in particular who have been shitting me lately. Actually make that 3 people who have been shitting me for a while for various reasons. Tempting though it is it wouldn’t be very productive and would burn a couple of bridges and or lead to a degree of awkwardness so I can’t really, so I’ll just say it here “GET FUCKED YOU ANNOYING GODDAMN PAIN IN MY ARSE. I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHY I PUT UP WITH YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT. I DON’T NEED THE MOTHERFUCKING AGGRAVATION” There now doesn’t that feel better? Well not really but at least its pretty universal and so covers all 3 of them. Christ I wish I could have just one day where I can say whatever I want to people without having to deal with the consequences the next day. Its bullshit how frustrated one person can make you, but there you are. Perhaps if I re-word that statement slightly I might get away with it. And on top of that after spending all week last week out being a good little volunteer and helping my fellow man blah, blah, when I finally get some down time none of my friends want to know me! Well that and some are busy, one I have no idea about but thats another rant. I’ll just conclude with AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I’m trapped by the police. They’ve got me. Its going to be tricky to get out of this one, *drum roll.* I am of course referring to my application to join the police (what did you think I meant?) because if I don’t get in it will be similar to being fucked while canoeing up Shit Creek without a paddle. Why is this? Well at university I did a bachelor of international studies, which would be good for getting me into a lot of government in defence, intelligence, foreign affairs etc. BUT our lovely new Prime Minister Tony ‘the 19th century was a good time’ Abbott is slashing public service jobs so those departments are not hiring. So the last option for employment that I actually 1. find appealing and 2. have a chance of getting is the police. But I’m still worried about it, the application process is very long which is mostly annoying but is good in one respect, I have more time to try and get myself fit. I’m not in horrible shape, but I’m probably not good enough to pass their tests. But I have been trying to do this for months and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress, its really frustrating. But all I can do is keep my fingers crossed and keep trying to come up with a backup plan, I don’t like having all my eggs in one basket, I need options.
One of the biggest gripes of life is money, or lack thereof. So here is mine. Despite the fact that I get $500 a fortnight in unemployment from Centrelink I can’t seem to save any of it. This is especially frustrating since in the past I managed to make $300 last a whole month back when I was forced to live off my mum and sister because I wasn’t eligible for any benefits and because I’m trying to save for a few days getaway with a friend of mine to Kangaroo Island with a friend of mine some time soonish (we haven’t organised a date yet). In the last two weeks I have spent a huge amount on petrol, phone bill, breakdown cover for my car, some gear for SES and most unimportantly, yet expensively, cigarettes (which I had thought I had given up) and alcohol. Two very expensive habits/hobbies in this country. I’ve been not doing so well lately and those two things help dull the pain, make me numb and take the edge off for a brief time. And money is one of the things I worry most about! Yet I still spend a stupid amount on things I don’t need to but make me feel better about feeling like shit if that makes sense. Basically I’m fucked. I need to find my self control again, but failing that win the lottery. Shit.